| Photo by dave_7 via Wikimedia Commons
Dateline New York City, April 1, 2022, a Philippine Daily Mirror Exclusive
We have been addressing the State of the Vatican lately to use its socio-economic power (SEP) to vanquish what this writer coined in 1988 as “economic purgatory” that often results in wars on Planet Earth. Yes, wars initiated by military-industrial complexes, corporate conglomerates, and their billionaire owners — with the assistance of often-corrupt government officials and even supported by some prelates. Even in the present conflict between Russia and Ukraine, the Vatican can use its SEP potential to forge eternal peace between the two countries and Europe and the entire world.
The many small shops inspire the headline in the Philippines that fix flat tires of vehicles and bicycles. The Filipino term is “vulcanize.” Perhaps “Vaticanize” is the correct term when state leaders to use violent means to invade neighboring countries and sow carnage and destruction. No human being stood for peace like Jesus Christ, and his representative now is the pope. The world right now is like a flat tire. We need to pump into it lots of air of hope, respect, mutual trust, socio-economic empowerment, and perhaps even humor. Reader’s Digest said, “Laughter is the best medicine.”
The miracle of miracles, a caller claiming to be a Vatican official, called me yesterday at about 1700H, Pacific standard time. This columnist agreed that we at the PDM would not reveal his identity. And simply call him “Monsignor Citizen” (MC), as he is apparently also a “SEPtuagenarian,” oops, septuagenarian like me. And so, I provided him with details of an economic blueprint to make the Vatican the “financial-and-entrepreneurial center” of the world.
And therefore, this columnist started to provide him with more ideas for the Vatican to consider in making Planet Earth a “socio-economic heaven” — instead of purgatory (or even the equivalent of an economic hell in the Third World). The bottom line is for Pope Francis to begin the real “Christianization” (sic) of economics (and not necessarily the individual faith of all the people in the world). After all, this believer considers Jesus Christ not only the Redeemer (from the spiritual sense) but also the father of modern socialism (from the economic viewpoint). And Jesus, a Jewish carpenter, considered even foreigners (like the Samaritans) equal to the Jews.
To begin with, this journalist tells MC that he must persuade the pontiff to make the Roman Catholic Church (RCC) a cooperative (co-op) and start by giving every faithful (estimated to number at least 1.1-billion people) a $1,000 share in it. (We can call it the “Stimulus of Faith.”) My smartphones cannot do the exact computations by the billions, so the Vatican math experts and supercomputers can do it. The RCC co-op shares can be backed up by the holdings of the State of Vatican in artworks, medieval books, other priceless collections, and real estate. Plus, the Vatican equivalent of a Central Bank and commercial banks can issue a cryptocurrency, which will be the only one backed by a state government.
“All dioceses all over the world can convert their holdings into RCC-cooperative shares. The Archdiocese of Manila in the Philippines reportedly owns blue-chip stocks worth a least 50-billion pesos (or one billion in American greenback equivalent). In due time, the RCC co-ops will become the biggest globally.”
All dioceses all over the world can convert their holdings into RCC-cooperative shares. The Archdiocese of Manila in the Philippines reportedly owns blue-chip stocks worth a least 50-billion pesos (or one billion in American greenback equivalent). In due time, the RCC co-ops will become the biggest globally. Then labor unions can become labor co-ops of religious workers. And federations of RCC co-ops can start forming credit unions and investment firms. Pension and mutual funds will quickly follow.
Once every faithful of any denomination realizes that the RCC is the only place of worship that gives alms (and food and basic needs plus shelter) instead of asking for donations from church members in Sunday’s collection envelopes or baskets, then nearly all people will join this initiative. Or work — in joint ventures — with Catholics and their RCC. And with other Christians and followers of other religions.
Asked how to call the digital currency, I replied, “cryptograve.” It will be the only cryptocurrency that will guarantee the holder (owner or buyer) a decent wake, a modest funeral, a grave, or a vault beneath a church used as a burial place (for those not wanting cremation) and a certificate of admission to heaven. The certificate can come with a money-back guarantee. The “cryptograve” owner can collect a refund (at the current higher valuation) plus interest if the buyer comes back from the dead. And says that Saint Peter would not allow him (or her) to enter the gates of heaven for any reason at all. Refunds cannot be made to a proxy or a living relative — but only to the “cryptograve” owner in person.
And so, with billions of people purchasing — by installment as part of a church offering — cryptograve digital currency, the Vatican can begin the suggested “Papa Francis pizzeria” for every cathedral, parish church, and/or chapel of the Roman Catholic Empire, oops Church. Now think of the millions, nay, billions of poor and/or-hungry people, especially the homeless and refugees, joining the RCC co-ops; everything will be possible. Imagine if the Roman Empire was not collecting tributes in gold or precious stones from the countries it conquered but giving instead food and other needed supplies (gratis et amore) to the nations that it wanted to rule? Then the entire world would be speaking Latin today.
And the “Papa Francis” pizzeria can become food courts. Imagine a section of it turned into a “Gethsemane Garden of Olives” restaurant with a “Cana Bar.” (The bar operator will have to post probably a sign that says, “Only Jesus can turn water into wine. And not this bartender. Please pay when drinks are ordered.) And they will supply all food outlets with a new soda brand called “PopesiCola.” And a “Papabull” trademark for its energy drinks.
The pope can also require religious orders to do their version of the “Papa Francis” brand. Like the priests, nuns, sisters, and laypeople belong to the Order of Preachers coming up with their “Dominican pizza.” Or the Jesuits are organizing a chain of candy stores and chocolate products called “Jessweets.” Imagine if the Jesuit schools in the Philippines also operated cacao plantations. The Philippines will soon become the “chocolate capital of Asia.” Or have the Benedictine monks operate “Egg-Benedict Breakfast Nooks”?
Even in sending help and supplies to countries that suffered natural calamities, people will welcome processed food that will probably be called by recipients “Vaticanned goods.” And crooked politicians will undoubtedly hesitate to steal them — especially if a warning on the label will proclaim: “Those who steal this food will soon die and go straight to hell.”
The RCC co-ops (and their franchises) can also start buying sports teams. Like the Cardinals baseball team in Missouri? Or the Saints football team in Louisiana? Or they can put up competing leagues. Imagine if athletes, fans, and congregations owned sports teams? Instead of aging billionaires and their filthy-rich families?
“Monsignor Citizen was excited about the various ideas that this columnist mentioned. Yes, they were only previews of what the Vatican can do to lead its faithful followers to achieve socio-economic empowerment while still living on Planet Earth.”
Even in electric vehicles, the Vatican can develop its make and model. How would a layman’s electric car version of a “Pope Mobile” appeal to environmentalist drivers?
In healthcare, this columnist thought in 2016 (when he ran for governor in the Philippines) of a health maintenance organization (HMO) that the medical staff would own, the patient members, and the local government units (LGU). The LGUs owned the provincial hospitals and clinics that they would turn over to the HMO in exchange for stocks. It would be funded by the 40% share of the province’s value-added tax (VAT) like Sorsogon (the 19th poorest province in the Philippines). Had this journalist been elected, he would call it the “VATiCare.” Perhaps the Vatican may like to copy this VATiCare idea and trademark it. Then do it worldwide to do cost-effective preventive medicine and care, using locally-manufactured therapeutics, vaccines, and even herbal-and-natural medicine. Details of the so-called forerunner of “VATiCare” are found in this Facebook Group called the DrRizal.com/HMO Proposal for Sorsogon & the PH at this link.
Monsignor Citizen was excited about the various ideas that this columnist mentioned. Yes, they were only previews of what the Vatican can do to lead its faithful followers to achieve socio-economic empowerment while still living on Planet Earth. I told him that our group called the “Philippine-American Society of Pundits, Humorists and Wags (PASPHaW)” could submit executive summaries of socio-economic ventures for the faithful followers of the Redeemer. And for Pope Francis and the Vatican to do the modern versions of what Jesus Christ did — like curing the sick, feeding multitudes of people with bread and fish, and doing more. Like creating employment, economic opportunities, maintaining peace, law, and order according to the teachings of the Redeemer and his Beatitude way of life.
MC, the Vatican contact, finally said that it would probably take a year to implement the SEP proposals after finishing the needed feasibility studies by their whiz kids of finance and economics. Then he said, “Talk to you again on April 1, 2023.” And he ended the call.
Was the telephone exchange of ideas just an April Fools’ Day stunt?
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