| Photo by Duy Pham on Unsplash
“Tell me who your friends are, and I’ll tell you who you are,” is an ancient, anonymous proverb. It reminded me of my recent book launch at my alma mater, the Pamantasan Ng Lungsod Ng Maynila, where friends surprised me for helping make it a success.
The books, Land of the Mourning and The Accidental Therapist, are both memoirs, accounts of my personal journey and professional career. The first book is somewhat gut-wrenching and sad because it not only paints a pathetic picture of life but also traces the historical, equally sad plight of my native land, the Philippines. It’s a land of great people and lofty promise, and yet, stuck in a social, economic, and political quagmire, it seems incapable of extricating itself. The overarching theme of the book is a childhood and teenage love affair between two innocent neighbors broken by a long-running feud between their families. Despite the heartbreaking fallout of their breakup, the distance, and the memories rushing into oblivion, they’ve remained friends all these years.
The books carry elements of serendipity involved in meeting and keeping friends, and how they play a quiet but important role in the outcomes of both personal and professional endeavors. I would not have accomplished most things I set out to do without the help of people who just popped out of nowhere. My stories are replete with such serendipity and synchronicity. The Accidental Therapist, just by its title, gives you the clue. Because of my life circumstances, I needed unshakable faith and hope.
When I was planning the book launch while I was home in New York, I didn’t know what I was doing, since it was my first time. Until the last minute, I had no idea how many would be attending or what the logistics were. Except for a few people I know who expressed interest, I had a short list of people attending. I thought it would be a bust.
Then enter Terry and Wilma Galvante, old-time, lifelong friends from our university days who saved the day. Terry, the president of the Pamantasan ng Lungsod Ng Maynila Scholars Foundation (PLMSFI), had students helping and attending the event. Wilma, his better half, who is a member of the PLM Board of Regents and a media personality, had things moving. With their active involvement, we had the PLM President, Atty. Sonny Reyes, the President of the PLM Alumni Association, Bishop Abante, and some PLM officials provided a needed impetus to the event.
I had my older brother’s family helping with my transportation and ferrying the books I needed for the event. But the biggest surprise of all was Irma, the little girl with two missing front teeth and childhood friend and sweetheart in my story, who attended the event. I did not expect to see her. I did try to send her a message, albeit reluctantly, about the event, thinking it would be an imposition. The message never got to her. Nonetheless, she learned of the book launch from my Facebook post a few weeks before. Despite the hectic program, we had a chance, though briefly, to catch up about our families and friends.
These are some of my friends, and now tell me who I am.
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ABOUT THE AUTHOR Dr. Fernando B. Perfas is an addiction specialist who has written several books and articles on the subject. He currently provides training and consulting services to various government and non-government drug treatment agencies regarding drug treatment and prevention approaches. He can be reached at fbperfas@gmail.com.
