| Photo by Muhammad Mousavi on Unsplash
As scholars of the Pamantasan ng Lungsod ng Maynila (PLM) or the University of the City of Manila, we were driven to succeed in life and love. Because of the precarious nature of our lives, there was no margin for error. If we flunked a class or failed to meet the required GPA, we were expelled from PLM. None of us could afford that kind of failure. We burned the midnight oil, filled pages of notebooks with lecture notes, and combed the pages of books for assigned readings. Despite our academic preoccupation, we made room for romance.
One was most likely to find someone attracted to within the tightly knit PLM community. Guys were dying to join the basketball teams to showcase their skills and get the ladies’ attention. We joined races to show our athleticism. Some showed prowess in deciphering what kind of exams would be forthcoming in English, Math, Human Systems, etc., to be on top and get some attention. We joined groups when the apple of our eye was part of them, even the Sing Out, though we didn’t have the voice or ear for music. Some even joined the yoga group. Thanks to nearby Rizal Park, though broke, some could still afford to have a date and get lost in the darkness of the sprawling park.
In our second and third years, and with more students, our prospects for a love life just increased. By now, there were more established pairs and lovebirds around campus. Even in my small group of friends, there were quite a few pairs, including two of my long-time friends, and many ended up getting married after college. When City Hall opened a police academy at PLM, our competition for suitable sweethearts increased. Some police trainees had snagged pretty ones. By my third year, my luck with girls hadn’t changed. The reason for my hesitance to pursue girls was financial. I barely had the means to stay in school, and having a girl would be tough.
“A balancing act for many to put structure in their lives to attend to the academic demands of PLM and tend to and sustain a budding love. Like anything we did, we were always consistent in love, studies, work, and living. Although many had their first love while young, most consummated it and stayed faithful till the end.”
Nonetheless, I was smitten by a freshman named Magdalena, a petite, graceful girl whose name sounded like a song. Shy as I was, I never got to introduce myself, and the best I could do was write her a poem published in Hasik, the university paper. I admired her from a distance, and by the following semester, she was gone. I never knew the reason why she left or asked to leave. I courted another girl I liked, but I couldn’t find my rhythm with her. The problem lies with me, for I couldn’t bring myself to fall in love; all I did was love a woman intellectually. I needed to heal my heart from past wounds to fall in love again.
A balancing act for many to put structure in their lives to attend to the academic demands of PLM and tend to and sustain a budding love. Like anything we did, we were always consistent in love, studies, work, and living. Although many had their first love while young, most consummated it and stayed faithful till the end. There were some heartbreaks, of those who had to leave for failing to make the grade or finding another soul to hitch their hearts.
As for myself, I never got lucky with girls and graduated from PLM still a virgin.
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ABOUT THE AUTHOR Dr. Fernando B. Perfas is an addiction specialist who has written several books and articles on the subject. He currently provides training and consulting services to various government and non-government drug treatment agencies regarding drug treatment and prevention approaches. He can be reached at fbperfas@gmail.com.
